Number XIII: Roxas

I haven't touched this in awhile, figured I may as well. I don't really know why I didn't, a lot happened awhile ago. Finding two hearts and getting them returned is a big deal. I don't know, I just didn't get around to writing about it. Didn't seem important at the time. It didn't make sense to write about how things changed afterward when we were living it.

I don't know why I'm bothering to write now. I guess I am that bored. The lists of odd jobs have dried up. It's weird living so..normally. Still not used to it.

Things really are getting normal now. I just realized a few days ago, I haven't heard Sora in awhile. I don't mean talking to him...I've been able to hear his thoughts since we split. They were getting fainter, but this is the first time they've stopped altogether. I wonder if Sora has noticed the same thing.

Hey Sora.

Hope you get this. Are you able to get out to Atlantica? There are two of the organizations heartless here. One of them is blocked off in a bay and the other...yeah. At least it's staying close.

Want to come help out with these before the big one figures out how to jump the barrier Demyx made?

It's easy to loose track of time here. The sun doesn't move so I didn't even realize I'd been gone for a few days. It was weird coming back and not finding Axel here. He left a note which I assume says he's at the coliseum, or just out causing trouble. Whatever. The cat was mewing at me for awhile but was fine after I fed it, apparently he hadn't gotten as much as he wanted the past few days.

I haven't been doing much, just been out walking and thinking more. I've been so restless lately. I don't really know how to describe it since I'm not even supposed to be able to feel like that anyway. At least Axel was around to fight earlier, I don't think we've sparred since before everything started, it was...fun. I'm just glad he didn't give me that stupid paopu fruit Sora gave him...that was just dumb.

I need to talk to Sora again. I don't want to...we only ever argue. But after that paopu he obviously doesn't understand a damn thing...not that I'm that surprised. I've been thinking about things a lot, I have to try to tell someone else sometime.

I hate this place. Not Twilight Town, if I have to live anywhere it's not bad. I hate this whole gate thing. It feels like someone it out there messing with me...I don't like it!

I would have preferred staying in my right mind, even if I was...never mind. Now is worse. I hate not being in control of my own body. I'm sick of it. If something like that happens again I'm going to find that gate or those damn moogles and see if a keyblade won't fix it.


Also we have a cat. I vaguely remember getting him, and unfortunately the name we gave him then seems to have stuck, he won't listen to anything else...not that cats really listen to much anyway.

This is kinda cool.

I think I ended up as a vampire, could have done a lot worse. Although the stitches on my face feel really weird, but they look awesome. At least I didn't end up in a replica of what Sora looks like when he goes to Halloween Town.

Now if I can just never see worms in my noodles ever again this could be an ok week.

(( Picture ))

Things have quieted down a lot. Last time I posted here it was about a fight, this time the most exciting thing to happen was a barbecue. I guess it was good to get Axel's need to burn something out of the way before the town ended up on fire.

Not that I don't like excitement, but I hope that the quiet will last for a little while at least. It won't, but I can still hope. It looks like it will until the end of the week, but after that who knows. Whether Xemnas is telling the truth or not I don't see things staying quiet.

Axel and I took advantage of this reprieve to get our own place. We told Demyx we'd be out of his place soon when we got there; it took longer than we planned. It was an easy move since I still only had the one bag from when I left Destiny Islands. Wow, I left Destiny Islands a long time ago. It almost feel like another life time...kinda was. I'm going to stop there before this turns into one of Zexion's posts.

It's a cool place, it's small but then that's not surprising. Couldn't afford anything bigger on Sunset Terrace; had no idea it would be so expensive. I like it though. It's the first place that's ever been mine...well I guess 'ours' since Axel's paid for most some of it too. It's really funny to watch him run around and be domestic. I'd offer to help but I already know I'm not allowed in the kitchen. Axel likes to blame me for him burning everything.

So a week? I wonder who will actually go meet Xemnas. And what will happen to them if they do.

Fine...

I will admit that going to back to the castle to fight Saix was not the smartest thing I could have done. But, I was doing just fine and would have finished if Xemnas hadn't shown up at the end...Maybe it was better that he did. I didn't know how it was going to end. I didn't really want to kill him again. I was just keeping my promise and doing what I should have done when he was actually in front of Namine.

Xemnas... he's trying to confuse everything again. Axel's getting worried about it. I can tell. I am too. I know he's lying but what if he's right. I haven't decided what to do about that yet.

...

We should leave Demyx's apartment soon. It's not a bad place, but we've been here too long already. It's too small for all of us, and it would be better to find a new place before getting kicked out. It would be nice to sleep on a bed instead of a couch again. It's crowded with the two of us.

I realized that I haven't seen Sora in a long time. Not since leaving Destiny Islands. I've barely even felt him. I couldn't sense him at all after getting hit by a bubble; whatever emotion it had must have blocked anything from him. But now...it doesn't feel as strong as it did before. I still know he's there, but it's not affecting me at least I don't think it is. Maybe it's the distance. I wish I knew how this worked.

Oh yeah...I wonder if he still has my blue stone.

((strikes = deleted))

....


Shut up....

( Private to Namine )

Something is wrong with Axel.

I've been taking care of him all day...not that I mind...and I still don't know what happened to him. Yesterday I could barely keep him off of me, today nothing. I mean, I've been laying on him and trying to cuddle for hours and he won't. Nuzzling, stroking, even kissing hasn't gotten a reaction. Not that I'm going to stop...something is obviously wrong with him so I need to make him feel better.

But...I'm even laying on him right now and I know he can read what I'm typing and still nothing. I'm running out of ideas.

I think it was the bubble that hit him...I don't know though cause I got hit with one too and I'm ok.

Where to start...

So much has happened in the past week. I left Destiny Islands. Axel and I didn't feel like we were welcomed there like it was the place for us to be anymore. We spent a few days in Radiant Garden in a crappy hotel, that if you ever even think of taking me back to Axel you will regret it.

We ended up in Twilight Town. It's weird to have three sets of memories from here...but even with that it feels like home. I missed it. I already picked up some fliers around town and should be starting some odd jobs tomorrow. I don't know what Axel and Demyx were complaining about, it's easy to find a job around here...maybe not a steady one but someone always needs some small thing done.

Today's been really weird. I ran into Zexion. I knew he was around since we were both at the meeting, and I've seen his journal, but it was odd to run into another organization member. It looks like not even the original six are following the dress code anymore...I guess the organization really is scattered.

I think I may stick around here for awhile. I was thinking about that when I was up on the clock tower earlier today...before Axel showed up and distracted me. I have a lot to think about, and this seems like the best place to do it.

( Cut for length )

The meeting was pointless. I shouldn't have gone. Xemnas's new plan is even more self-serving than the last one and hell if I'm going to be a pawn again. The only real information I got out of it is how many of us are back, I didn't expect that many to be at the meeting.

I knew before going that I wasn't going to rejoin, and whatever 'plan' the superior Xemnas has, he can do it himself. Leave me alone.

That's all I have to say to anyone that was there.


I wish there were still Samurais around to call...I need to fight something

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

This link with Sora is finally paying off!

I just wish I could share with everyone the thoughts I'm seeing...well I'm not as good as Namine, but here's my attempt.

( Riku Doll! )



((if Roxas seems ooc, it's because he's picking up on Sora's amusement in a big way))

How to start this...Um...I'm back?

I don't really know how it happened either, but...it did, and I'm here...and so is Sora, and we both seem to be ok. I'm actually staying in the spare room at his house now. There's a computer in the room too, so I decided to make myself one of these journals. I know Sora has one...but I don't think he'll want to still share it with me.

I'm sure this makes no sense to anyone else reading this...but then I don't know who would be reading it right now.  Besides Axel...who is reading over my shoulder while I type...yes I see you, knock it off.

It's been a very weird few days. I just hope things make more sense in the morning.



(ooc: strikeout = typed then deleted)